Raining On A Sunny Day

As of last night, my only emotion was shock. Nothing could prepare me for what was being whispered, yelled, slapped, and shoved into my ear via cell phone last night. Oh sure, I had started the debate about three weeks ago in California. Yet, however much I prodded over the subject during the months before and the weeks after, nothing could stop my feet from flipping right up over my head. Just one name and a gush of offenses following was all it took. I was absolutely speechless.

In certain nooks of the Bible, I have read of persecution. But that was just history and today is; well, perhaps “sheltered American” is the correct cliché to use.How naïve I was!

This morning I caught myself thinking, “What did I pray for to get me in this predicament?” Was it faith, belief, or trust I prayed for? Those are certainly the things I could use now!

I know I am being attacked on many sides. This is not just a verbal and emotional fight—this ties back to the very core of my belief in Jesus. Those little things called “doubts” are also waiting to creep on in. Oh how many different ways and means the devil and his minions have as possibilities to attack! But yet, that sweet name of Jesus—how powerful His name is. When I hear it, my brain can immediately travel back to the hosts of times He has made himself evident. He is and will always be here for me—and that truth, in itself, is power. At this point, mere standing is happening because of Him.

Lurking in the shadows is still the hurts and lies. I am at an internal standstill—knowing full well I must acknowledge them, but having absolutely no desire to do so. My lack of understanding will keep everyday life flowing; but my ignorance, if left untouched, will be my demise.What a weight this ever pressing matter has proven to be. If you consider this ignorance to be a fine line, consider me a clumsy person trying to cross it. Coming to terms is eventually what we all do, and my intention is to do just that. However, nowhere in the manual did I read it must be hours after a specific event. Bitterness is one step to far but wrath is a half a step closer. Frankly, I must say neither sound too appealing.

So, I am left with what to do know. This is the one question I know the answer to and that is to pray. There is absolute spiritual warfare going on here and I know only one person who can take care of it. Starting to pray is usually the hardest part. But as the words begin to roll out, I find myself very thankful…more importantly I am reminded of how awesome our Creator is. I am beginning to see the plan unraveling before me. To be persecuted and put down—to put it pleasantly—sucks! But to further the kingdom is such a heavenly gift. My God! If this is what you have in mind count my heartache as a twitch in a blade of grass—a small pang in my step.

Cover my family, Lord, as this affects them all so intensely. Show me where to move next. Keep me in your will. Thank you for this person. Thank you for their questions and opinions. Thank you for the armor you have provided me and the love you have supplied me…

Why didn't I just vaccuum

Everyone who knows me, knows I am severely accident prone. In fact, my husband, who is looking for a motorcycle, reminded me several times that he would not let me come close to getting on his or any other type of 2 wheel motor bike (yes, my mo-ped dreams are now CRUSHED!) I have fallen up stairs, dislocated my shoulder by sleeping, walked into walls, etc.......and now I can add stepping on needles to my list. You see....this all starts with procrastination. I have been meaning to get upstairs and wash the sheets in our guest bedroom (2 weeks ago we had a friend come into town for a few days) Yes I said TWO WEEKS. My house cleaning skills has plummeted from Ninja skills to grasshopper skills. So for two weeks, the guest bedroom has been needing a little sprucin' up and a change of sheets. About 3 days ago, I finally got time to do the cleaning a wife like me should do. But once I got up to the room, I had a underlying urge to sew. So I dug through the closet in that room and pulled out (more like strewed out) ALL my sewing gear. After breaking the needle on the machine and loosing one during the switch-a-roo and then of course accidently dumping the container of pins out, I found myself sitting in a landmine. No big deal though. Adam soon called for me to go somewhere with him. So I picked everything up off the floor and set it on the long dresser. He then came in to see what was taking so long. With my cheek pressed to the carpet and a hand full of found needles in my palm, I muttered "Almost done, sweetie". I thoroughly swept the entire vicinity and thought I was good to go. Even he was proud of my attention to the hazards which could have been. Well, today my good wife genes came back. After doing some loads of laundry, the guest bedroom sheets were calling my name. I ran up there to grab the sheets and apparently needles can walk across rooms....or maybe teleport.....I haven't quite completed my investigation. Regardless, the needle went straight into my right foot. There was so much shock at first, I had no idea what the pain was coming from. Once my brain began to function again, I tried reaching for the bottom of my foot to pull it out. Two tries later I finally grabbed it with my nails. Thank God for the manicure I got yesterday! Anyways, I feel pretty woozy right now. I called Adam and he told me to ice it. I figured writing you guys would help me not focus on the pain. It isn't bleeding too bad, but I feel like I might need crutches or something. I guess I probably won't be washing sheets for a while :).

"Reflections"

How many times can God wave a big flag in front of my face? My whole life, God has shown me again and again I should be working with the youth. My latest excuse (besides changing my major....again) is not being able to figure out which age I should work with.
My passion has always been high school. I can't explain it, but when you mix high school students with Christ's love in their lives you get this amazing outcome of passion and extreme living (at least to all their peers) which only further reveals God's glory and truth in all the earth (I told you it is hard to explain).
So I know what you are all thinking. WHY NOT HIGH SCHOOL??? Well, a few years back, when I was stuck in Idaho, I found a job working as a substitute teacher. Long story short, I found my calling at a local Jr. High. The principle would call me just about every day about another classroom which needed me. Those kids ended up changing my whole outlook as I knew it. We ended up moving 6 months later to Japan, but I knew, at that moment in my life, Jr. High is where I wanted to be.
After a long year and a half in Okinawa with no real direction in my life I finally looked up COMPLETELY. Within weeks, God had taken my life and shook it. I found a group of girls who invited me to come to a Bible Study (before I was a one man show; who found herself drying up rather quickly with no Godly relationships) After serving our community as a makeshift church body, I got more news that my time in Oki was being cut short.
Now before I go to much farther in this part of the story, I must tell you a huge factor in my life at this time. About 3 months after I arrived in Okinawa, I became extremely sick. After every meal I ate, I would get hives, nasaua, and/or anaphalactic shock. I quickly realized (although I should have realized this LONG begore) my life was no longer in my hands. Before I was living for God, but I was still in control; at this point all my trust had to be placed soley on God. We lived about 45mins from a hospital (on a good day) and on top of all this the hospital told us they didn't "really" have the means to help fully with allergies. F.Y.I., I would NEVER, NEVER take this season of sickness out of my life. Although I didn't understand it at first, God used all this to teach me so many lessons. Rather than being me and God, it became God and then me. I can't put into words how many things changed in my life, but I began to not just crave God, but to find him around every corner. This season I would call the "dig up and heal up" season. The reason I had to tell you this, was so that you can better understand where I was coming from. My life was quite literally, no longer in my hands. But it took that full 1+ to truly place it ALL into God's hands.
Getting back to the story, on top of putting my

VBS

God has been so awesome this week. I don't even know where to began. I have been serving in our (read: Living Water) VBS as a counselor. I came into this, just wanting to serve God more. I felt so stuck just a week ago and now I feel as though he has opened a new estuary of water just for me. Despite being so wiped at the end of the day, despite only being able to stay awake for a small Scripture fill at night, and despite my lack of voice, I AM SO THANKFUL! My Papa is doing miraculous things in these kids lives. And when I say kids, I mean K-5th. True kids! Not only have the kids totally caught on fire for our Jesus, but they (amid plenty of other counselors) have sparked a new found passion in my own life. The impact of this week and all its people has not just restored my walk with God, but has gone so far past all my hopes, desires, expectations, etc. It is so funny how you can put your own personal quests and situations on the back burner for things like this and God will always bring them up before they have any time to sit at ALL! :) I am on a level of worship and love for God, which I never knew about. I, like so many other Christians, so desperately crave worship-the kind of worship where you can close your eyes, fling you arms out, and sing straight to Papa. I long for these moments. But more and more this week God is showing me this kind of worship exsists outside of the sanctuary or when there is no music present. I will never forget this week! It is truly an encouragement to see Olympia's next generation live for God and worship Him in the things they do. I think more adults need to take time to spend it with our kids. Their faith will amaze you