Raining On A Sunny Day

As of last night, my only emotion was shock. Nothing could prepare me for what was being whispered, yelled, slapped, and shoved into my ear via cell phone last night. Oh sure, I had started the debate about three weeks ago in California. Yet, however much I prodded over the subject during the months before and the weeks after, nothing could stop my feet from flipping right up over my head. Just one name and a gush of offenses following was all it took. I was absolutely speechless.

In certain nooks of the Bible, I have read of persecution. But that was just history and today is; well, perhaps “sheltered American” is the correct cliché to use.How naïve I was!

This morning I caught myself thinking, “What did I pray for to get me in this predicament?” Was it faith, belief, or trust I prayed for? Those are certainly the things I could use now!

I know I am being attacked on many sides. This is not just a verbal and emotional fight—this ties back to the very core of my belief in Jesus. Those little things called “doubts” are also waiting to creep on in. Oh how many different ways and means the devil and his minions have as possibilities to attack! But yet, that sweet name of Jesus—how powerful His name is. When I hear it, my brain can immediately travel back to the hosts of times He has made himself evident. He is and will always be here for me—and that truth, in itself, is power. At this point, mere standing is happening because of Him.

Lurking in the shadows is still the hurts and lies. I am at an internal standstill—knowing full well I must acknowledge them, but having absolutely no desire to do so. My lack of understanding will keep everyday life flowing; but my ignorance, if left untouched, will be my demise.What a weight this ever pressing matter has proven to be. If you consider this ignorance to be a fine line, consider me a clumsy person trying to cross it. Coming to terms is eventually what we all do, and my intention is to do just that. However, nowhere in the manual did I read it must be hours after a specific event. Bitterness is one step to far but wrath is a half a step closer. Frankly, I must say neither sound too appealing.

So, I am left with what to do know. This is the one question I know the answer to and that is to pray. There is absolute spiritual warfare going on here and I know only one person who can take care of it. Starting to pray is usually the hardest part. But as the words begin to roll out, I find myself very thankful…more importantly I am reminded of how awesome our Creator is. I am beginning to see the plan unraveling before me. To be persecuted and put down—to put it pleasantly—sucks! But to further the kingdom is such a heavenly gift. My God! If this is what you have in mind count my heartache as a twitch in a blade of grass—a small pang in my step.

Cover my family, Lord, as this affects them all so intensely. Show me where to move next. Keep me in your will. Thank you for this person. Thank you for their questions and opinions. Thank you for the armor you have provided me and the love you have supplied me…